Truth Of Love
by kemuri dono
Summary: Based on a poem my friend and i penned...Dreams are just that. Dreams. Illusions that rarely hamper one's own existance in life. For two pilots, a final confrontation ensues...which may either lead them to happiness, or eternal sorrow. [1X2,2X1] Part 1 of


Truth of Love 

Originally created by: Ku-Chan + Kemuri dono 

Idea by: ... Both of us! (explanation given later on) 

Writer: Ku-Chan   
Editor: Kemuri dono   
*standard disclaimers apply* 

  
Ku-Chan: This is originally a poem done during our Mathematics class (shhh don't tell the teacher).   
Kemuri dono: I got an idea (since Ku-Chan seems really bored and starting to annoy me) to write a poem. I will write a sentence or a phrase, and she'll write the next sentence or phrase. And it goes on until one of us ends it. Let's say I start the poem, Ku-Chan have to end it.   
Ku-Chan: Yeayea Give me the tough job ne? Well, we tried and we managed to produce our first poem together and somehow it was related to Gundam!   
Kemuri dono: ... Still addicted, aren't you?   
Ku-Chan: Shush! But that poem is best explained in pictures, so you'll not find it here now.   
Kemuri dono: Kill her for not doing her job!  
Ku-Chan: Don't give them ideas!!! So, this is another poem done by us and...   
Kemuri dono: And again... she finds it related to Gundam (sheesh!) and this time, a pairing. An angst-romance poem about Heero/Duo.   
Ku-Chan: NYAHAHAHAHHAHA Enough talk!!! On with the poem!!!!   
Kemuri dono: Along with its narration...  
Ku-Chan: *makes face* I always do the extras .  
Kemuri dono: Shaddup! I have to do the checkup for your grammatical errors! 

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/Duo/ Ku-Chan   
//Heero// - Kemuri dono   
  
Ok, this might get a bit confusing, so listen up!^^ the bold parts depict the original poem, and the italics are meant to be Heero's dream sequence..with that said...Dozo! ^^;; C & C is greatly appreciated..!  
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**//Peace of mind, I beg of thee,// **

Heero sat up straight, staring at the blinking screen, the pads of his fingers running flawlessly across the keys. Another day, another report, another official's body limp on the dry asphalt...another step towards world peace? 

He knew not. 

It was close to midnight as lady darkness covered the horizon with her black velvet cloak, hiding the stars of hope before looking down to the safe house. Ominous clouds gathered almost instantly as thundering flashes echoed her laughter. It was raining. Again. 

How nice. 

All of a sudden Duo burst into their quarters, humming a happy tune to rival the torrential rain outside. Blue eyes flickered towards the stoic figure at the table, hoping his loud entrance would make for some interesting reactions, but much to the boy's disappointment, the Perfect Soldier pointedly ignored him. Completely undeterred, the braided baka marched over to his bunk and hiked his radio to full volume. 

**/Difficult to find, between you and me./**

Duo stared dumbfounded at Heero as the handsome boy pulled the trigger on his luxury item. A twisted melody floated from the now obliterated set, spiraling aimlessly and then landing on a flat note. Dead. Shuffling to the radio with a lost expression plastered on his face, Duo gingerly picked up what was left and laid them gently on his bunk bed. Then, turning towards his comrade in a fit of mock anger, the American clambered off the steel post bed and lunged at Heero in a childish attempt to punch him.

_His face...that look.._.A painful image of the past flashed in Heero's mind. That look of utter loss...how many times has he witnessed it before? 

_The same dream. Always. Evergreen at night._

** //The love that faded throughout the years,// **

Normally situations like this called for fake punches and shoving about, but this time Heero didn't feel like playing 'pretend'. With much ease and grace, Heero avoided Duo's clumsy attempts and decided that enough was enough. Without holding back, he dealt a couple of harsh punches to his abdomen and a final blow to the jaw. 

_I constantly dreamed about what the fates had in store for me. An omen of sorts, i guess. One i didn't like, yet so much more appealing than an empty mass of sleeplessness that allowed me nothing but the prospect to think. And remember._

_...I didn't WANT to remember._

**/My heart torn, when I try to hold on./ **

Duo blindly grabbed hold of Heero's shirt to avoid collapsing to the ground and slowly straightened his body. The braided boy looked up at him, the early signs of bruising on his cheek, as a trickle of blood slid down from his grinning lips. 

"Itai." He whispered softly, gazing in deep, past the other's cold exterior.

_Black magic. The Dark arts. The name of damnation was never an issue. I saw it. It chose me. _

_A beckoning finger brought forth my obedience and I emerged from where i stood. It smoothed out the fine material that embraced the cards, and automatically I did what I had done for the last and previous times before that. I shuffled the worn out deck, traces of incense stifling every corner of my mind. There was one more scent present, but i had already adapted to it's pungent stink a long time ago. So much so I realize nothing and feel none._

_Blood. Life source. One that I robbed of people constantly._

** //Upon your lips, my fingertips   
dance in mad decision,// **

Heero's fingers grazed the soft full lips, smearing them in crimson red. One would have easily been fooled into believing it was lipstick, but nothing was always what it seemed. That girl down the road who you'd think was a perfect student would be the first to be high on Morphine and drugs, and the safe and peaceful world that you had always imagined was everything but that. Soon the blood would dry into a rusty brown, hard and worn like his calloused hands. Cobalt eyes remained, mesmerized by those sensual lips. 

_Two tarot cards laid face down in front of me. The hooded stranger cooed softly, almost caressing the faded creases of age that ran across the leathery surface with such complexity it made my head spin. It's face was hidden, It never uttered a word, much less breathed at all...and yet, the clarity of the ancient magic struck me._

_A cloth covered hand hovered above the first card and flipped it open. [Kiss of Life]_

_...and then the second. [Kiss of Death] _

_I looked at the gaping darkness for an answer._

** /The sight of you brings fear to me  
I kiss thy fingers, a sinful sweet./ **

Duo shivered unbidden under Heero's intense gaze, unable to break away from the unspoken spell. Finally he smirked, something that came so naturally to him, and kissed the fingers that rested upon his lips, leaving a bloodied mark on the digits. Duo's eyes sparked challenge towards his more mature counterpart, daring the pilot to venture further into his game. 

_Dreams. Nightmares. They haunt us ceaselessly, bringing momentary sublime to those who suffered; torturing those who oppressed and abused. Where do I fit in this intricate puzzle ? The Innocent? The Guilty? Or am i simply nothing? _

_I felt it smile as it reached slowly towards the hood that hid it's face, peeling back the fabric with unnerving slowness. And then i saw. The long flowing braid of gold. The clothes that would have fooled any person who still had faith in God._

_The tell tale grin that earned him his title._

_Duo Maxwell. The God of Death himself. _

** //Have you knowledge of the pain you've caused?  
To have it dig your heart with vicious claws.// **

Furious at how Duo was toying about with his feelings, he grabbed hold of the young Shinigami's collar and shoved him hard against the wall, finding hidden satisfaction in the resulting sound of solid against solid. He loudly demanded an explanation, allowing his loathe for the other boy to come forth in huge swells of anger. 

_My body wouldn't listen, but my ears did, the mocking laughter echoing in my eardrums. No longer did I recognize it as the voice of someone I was willing to call my friend. Someone who had been with me through thick and thin. Someone i had dared to even think of loving..._

_Lithe fingers plucked both cards from the altar between us._

_"Kiss of Death." he mouthed silently. He held the fragile object with two fingers from each hand, and grinned impishly. In one smooth motion, he tore it in half. _

_ " Nai." _

_And then he took the other in the same manner._

** /Thoughts of hurting you never steps in my mind   
never know the pain you feel, feelings untold./ **

Duo grinned as good naturedly as possible, ignoring the dull ache that had settled at the base of his neck as he denied Heero's lashing accusations. But his eyes failed to hide a hint of sadness, an emotion, a sensation towards his comrade when he realized that maybe, maybe Heero never really trusted him and had hated the American the very moment they had met. Such heavy emotions caused his playfulness to falter, and finally he decided to try and tell Heero the truth. His voice wavered slightly as he raised his head to meet the first pilot's gaze. 

_"Kiss of...Life? " this time his statement had the lilt of a question. I stared expectantly. It could have been fear that had shone clearly on my face--for one would not know in dreams regardless of how vivid it was--that caused his maniacal delight to heighten in leaps and bounds. _

_The rough parched sound after that was not only of a torn paper material, but of my heart as well._

_"Nai mo."_

** //Your lies I see through, as clear as glass  
with such evil, we'll never last!// **

Heero heard those words. The feelings that he himself had struggled to release from within. But now, those words weren't his, the feelings not his own. Thus, he did not listen. He swung his clenched fist across the table, venom punctuating every word of hate he had to say, and subsequently knocked over the glass of water next to his running laptop. Water spilled all over the contraption, causing the screen to blank out as a wave of electricity surged through the air and the now empty glass rolled onto the ground, shattering into shards of crystal tears. Scents of burning wires filled their nostrils as the room was thrown into a blue glow. The storm only intensified it's wrath, sending out bolts of lightning through the starless night, over their safe house. 

_White teeth gleamed in malice, as he carelessly threw the now worthless pieces towards me, content with just watching the anxiety that contorted my face. The cards flew upwards against the windless atmosphere, floating softly, gently, side to side in such contrast to the cruelty that had been dealt towards it moments ago. White light bounced off the the leathery surface, entrancing me with their elegant grace. Could i do the same? Reply the harsh administrations not with hate, but with kindness and virtue? _

_But the storm has not calmed. Instead what i had perceived to be my downfall was merely the beginning, and many tortures still awaited me._

_He slipped his hand into the fold of his sleeve again, delving deep as light blue eyes lit up in triumph. I had often shared joy with him, be it the triumph of having vanquished the enemy and other lighter matters, even though it was only within the confines of my brain. But this time, i couldn't bring myself to even feel the chill that surrounded us. _

_ My heart had already stopped beating._

** /Thy words of daggers bloodied my innocent soul   
shatters my love, my trust in you... NEVER!/ **

His own denial countered Heero's, defending his long hidden love towards the young Japanese pilot, although it broke his heart to convey the feelings he felt. Was he fighting a losing battle against the other boy's hate towards him? Did Heero truly value him as nothing more than a liability in times of war? No. It can't be. Not now. Not after all the events they had gone through. He shook his head vigorously, eyes filled with tears and grief, threatening to spill onto the already damp floor. 

He let them do so.

_From the shade, the rough hands of youth pulled forth another tarot card, just as old but with a stench far stronger than the others. _

_ Another reading to justify my sins perhaps? I wonder cynically, malevolence clutching at my sides. _

_ You sense my obvious anger, and waste no time in flashing that brilliant smile of yours. I turn my head away from the innocence on your face. My heart had already bled enough. A low chuckle broke the stillness of the space, as the card was held before my face, and then flipped over to reveal my fate. Not surprisingly, my will crumbled easily against curiosity as i turn back to see what laid before me._

_A crying clown. How odd. Why would a clown have such sadness engraved on it? Wasn't he the symbol of happiness to children all over the world? But then again, in times like this, nobody was born a child. They were already tainted with the scent of blood from the moment they emerged from their mother's womb. The big fat tear remained prominent on the poor being's face, bearing so much likeness to the mask our other comrade frequently wore, inside and outside himself._

_our...Why did that word hurt so much?_

_Slowly i brought my eyes downwards, absorbing the sadness the character portrayed, taking in the detailed markings and such, unconsciously in awe with such a flawless art piece. How ironic it was, to have such fineness and elegance grace the surface of something more sinister. _

_ I was wrong the first time. It was not a clown. _

_ Clowns didn't have shackles on their wrists and ankles._

_[The Fool] _

_I stared at my now bound wrists._

** //You lie... YOU LIE!!! Stop making the pain grow!!  
with hands around your neck, the truth will show!// **

Anger diluted truth, marring the trust and love that once held both pilots together during times of loneliness and desperation. Heero threw the other to the floor, disgusted. Still weak from the previous assaults on him, Duo sat up painfully, eyes beseeching and hand outstretched towards the soldier. Lips moved in silent plea, and again Heero stood transfixed on the spot. 

"Heero..." 

_You mock me endlessly, Death. Are you that eager to have me as one of your trophies? After all my slipping through your fingers to stay in my world? _

_I struggle within my shackled prison, hissing profanities in his face and suddenly, as if by magic, the shackles crumbled listlessly onto the ground in gray ashes, and disappeared without a trace. I look back at him, a fire burning in my eyes. I thought it was the Will to Live that lit that flame within me. And i believed it. God knows I had nothing else to believe in..._

_Foolish._

_I growled in a feral tone at the darkness that stood all round me, one that i myself never realized possessed. _

_"If you want me, come and claim me..._

The brunette snapped out from his daze, vigorously shaking his head. _ No. I shall not be fooled! Not now. NOT EVER!_ With cougar-like speed, Heero pinned Duo on the floor, his body weight rendering the winded boy helpless. Hands snaked out and fingers curled around the smooth cylindrical shape of the American's neck, and slowly started to tighten their hold. 

_..for i shall not let myself be hurt again."_

Gasping for air, Duo thrashed about desperately, clawing at Heero's hands in an attempt to ease the vice-like grip on his throat. He stared pleadingly at his friend, trying to find the boy he once knew.

_"Not by love..."_

Stagnant pools of dark blue reflected his panic, hands closing in tighter and tighter as the first pilot continued on rambling, sometimes in hate, sometimes in uncertainty...

_"Not by you..."_

_TBC_

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Ed's note : Dou?^^ Did we leave you guys at the edge of your seats?...Fine, highly unlikely...but please humor us...T_T Second part will be up soon, so be patient...! this was originally meant to be a one-shot, but it sooo long until we just had to chop it up in two. Ja, minna..^^;; Hope you enjoyed reading this...or perhaps, you just scrolled through? O_o Dame desu~~~T_T  
  
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